Stanley Lover, Chronicles of a Timid Lover

Review by Pamela Lake

At our last ‘First Tuesday’, on 1st September 2009, Stanley Lover brought in a copy of his memoirs, Chronicles of a Timid Lover, self-published, which we all admired. The minutes of the meeting and the on-going debate on self-publishing are reproduced in several articles below. Here Pamela Lake, our Secretary, reviews the book.

SOAF member, Stanley Lover, has recently self-published his memoirs, Chronicles of a Timid Lover, in an attractively illustrated hardback edition. It is the story of a life filled with rich and varied experiences which began in considerable hardship.

Stanley was born in December 1925 in a basement flat in Blackheath, the youngest of eight children - five boys and three girls - and grew up during the Depression. His father, who drank heavily, earned little and his mother struggled to feed the family but always managed to put a meal on the table - a favourite dish was bubble-and-squeak pie. Life was hard: Stanley’s parents had frequent rows about money, punishments were harsh and the children were beaten with a leather strap or locked in the coal hole if they were naughty. But in spite of this, there were some compensations. Stanley discovered football, which became a lifelong passion, and there were regular trips to the cinema to see cowboy films, musicals and Disney’s Fantasia. Although they were short of cash to buy tickets, he and his brother discovered a way of sneaking in without paying and they also succeeded in seeing X certificate Boris Karloff horror films which were in principle forbidden to children under sixteen.

At the age of only fourteen, in January 1940, Stanley left school and began work, first as a machine hand in the turning shop of Siemens Wireless and Cable Factory in Woolwich and afterwards as a salesman in a Dolcis’ shoe shop. He did fire fighting duty during the Blitz and narrowly escaped death when a cluster of incendiary bombs fell close to his home. His dream was to be an RAF pilot but he was too young, so he became an ATC cadet and learned to fly. In 1944, when he was eighteen, he was at last able to join the RAF and, although the war ended before he saw active service, he received a training which was invaluable during his subsequent studies in Mechanical Engineering.

After his work in the shoe shop, Stanley worked as a technical drawing office junior and later as a draughtsman. It was there that he met Jessie, who was a secretary with the company. They fell in love but there were difficulties - because she was married. When her husband returned from the war he refused to divorce her and became violent. She left him and set up house with Stanley and they had two sons, but it was only after twenty-six years that they were finally able to marry. Sadly, just as they were moving into their first home in 1946, Stanley learned that he had tuberculosis. Streptomycin was still in its infancy and so he spent long months in a sanatorium having the usual treatment at that time for a collapsed lung. During his time in the sanatorium, he discovered a talent for drawing and painting and thought of taking up commercial art as a career rather than mechanical engineering. Eventually he was persuaded that it would be an unwise move as work was hard to come by and instead he qualified as a mechanical engineer.

Stanley’s work as an engineer has taken him to many parts of the world, including Malaysia, Latin America, Africa and China. His experiences negotiating contracts in Peking during the period of Mao’s ‘Great Leap Forward’ make fascinating reading, but during his time there he was also delighted to be able to study the state of Chinese football. For not only has Stanley travelled widely in his capacity as a mechanical engineer; he has been a football referee in many countries. He is passionate about football, has written a number of books on it and is also a keen golfer.

In 1974 Stanley’s first marriage was virtually over and he spent a holiday alone in Tenerife. It was there that he met his adored second wife, Gilberte and he moved to France. They married in 1977 and live in Neuilly where they met Nicolas Sarkozy on a number of occasions when he was Mayor. There is a charming photo in the book of Gilberte with a young-looking Sarkozy in 1992 when he awarded her with a career medal.

Stanley is something of a Renaissance Man. Apart from his passion for sport, he is a gifted painter and sculptor and the cover painting on his book of the West Lake in Hangchow is by him. In his youth he also sang in amateur productions of Iolanthe and The Pirates of Penzance. He loves classical music and regrets that he never studied the piano. In fact, he did begin having lessons as a child in 1941 and the story of them is a poignant moment in the book, which sticks in my mind.

Stanley wanted to learn the piano, but money was a problem until finally he found a Mrs Digby who agreed to give him a one -hour lesson each week for three months for a sum of twenty-five shillings. He practised on the wreck of a piano in his parents’ flat and after six lessons he had made some progress. Mrs Digby said that she would give him a test the next time he came, to see if he was ready to start playing real pieces. He had five days in which to prepare and he worked hard at his exercises. The great day arrived and he set out for his teacher’s house. When he arrived, he saw a gaping void: Mrs Digby’s house and the adjoining terrace houses had been completely destroyed by a bomb. Stanley never played the piano again.